Forever Changed

We've been home almost two months now. I've had lots of time to reflect on what happened with our journey to Ukraine and what we term as an "unsuccessful trip". I have grieved the loss of the child I thought would be ours. I've experienced great bouts of guilt over leaving Nina in an orphanage when we could have made such a difference in her life. I've been depressed about the lengthy, time-consuming, expensive process we've just gone through only to be back to "square one". Sometimes, I've just been plain mad! But as I've experienced all these emotions, God has been faithful to me through it all. He's given me peace and comforted me as I've grieved. I still don't understand it all, and I realize that I may never. I know that God loves Nina much more than I ever could, and he has a perfect plan for her life. He has a plan for my life too that's better than anything I could ever dream up for myself. I can honestly say, despite all the grief and the tears, the anger and frustration, the depression and guilt, I wouldn't change the opportunity to have visited a Ukrainian orphanage and to have met little Nina. My life will be forever changed because of it, and that's a good thing.

Even on the plane ride home, Rodney was encouraging me not to give up. He said he still believes we're supposed to adopt. Our child just wasn't in Ukraine. After taking some time to process the roller coaster ride we'd just been on, we decided to pursue the adoption of a child right here close to home. We've begun the process to be approved to adopt or foster-to-adopt through our state. There are so many children right here that need forever families. We've started some initial paperwork and done some required training. There's still more paperwork and of course medical exams and a home study, etc. Only God knows what he has planned for us, but we're trusting him to reveal it to us. In the meantime, stay tuned for chapter two of our adoption adventure.

Safely Home

We didn't have email access that last day in Ukraine, so I didn't get to update our blog. We were able to get our flights changed pretty quickly and got home last night around 5:00pm. We were so glad to see our kids.
We aren't sorry we went to Ukraine. God is healing our hearts, but we're still very sad. Of course, we had hoped for a different outcome. We find peace in God's sovereignty, though. We still have a desire to adopt a child, so we are praying about our next step. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and words of encouragement. We have been blessed with such wonderful friends and family.

Coming Home with Heavy Hearts

It is with very heavy hearts that we write this post. We haven't slept in two days (no sleep on the overnight train then no sleep last night as we wrestled with this decision). I can't tell you how my heart aches. I have cried more tears than I knew I had to cry. Ultimately, we never were able to say that we were certain that this child was meant to join our family. However, having said that, it causes such overwhelming grief to know that you've met this precious child and chosen to go home without her. I can only say that I hope and pray God has something even better for her. I don't think we will ever be able to forget her. I know that God loves her more than we ever could have, so at this point we place her in his hands. I think some of the sorrow also comes from knowing that we've had this desire in our hearts and pursued it for 2 1/2 years, only to have it end like this. I knew there were other families coming home without children, but I never really prepared myself for the fact that we might be one of them.



We are trying to make arrangements to get our flights changed, so we can head home as soon as possible. Abby, Will and Sam, we love you and will see you soon!

I have to say, I don't think either of us was prepared for how emotional it is to visit an orphanage. We took the overnight train to the city where our referral's orphanage is located. Neither of us slept much at all. We arrived at approximately 6:15am and a driver was at the train station to pick us up. We immediately went to our appartment to freshen up before going to visit the orphanage. Irena and Leo, the couple that own the apartment, had prepared breakfast for us. Talk about hospitality! We ate, then freshened up and we were off to the Inspector's office to obtain approval to visit the orphanage. Once we had that approval, we stopped at a market to purchase a small treat for the little girl's group to share. Then we drove to the orphanage. We met the director first. She was a very warm and friendly lady. She told us all about the child we were scheduled to meet and showed us current pictures. What a beauty! We did find out after arriving that this little girl's file at the SDA was very accurate. She does seem to have the exact conditions that were described to us. We were able to visit with her a little bit, but she was very scared of us. We also spent some time outside watching her group play, then we went inside and observed them eating lunch. Neither of us had ever been inside an orphanage before so we have nothing to compare to, but this particular one is very neat and clean and in very good repair. The caretakers seem to genuinely care for the children. The little girl we visited seems to be very close to her main caretaker. The caretaker also obviously cares about the little girl. We felt that she really wants us to adopt her.

We had already decided before we made the trip that we would not make a decision the first day, especially if the child's medical condition was as presented by the SDA. We are really tired and it's hard to process all the information when you are sleep deprived. This precious child was created by God and deserves a loving, forever family, but we want to make a decision based on as much of the facts as we can obtain. We were able to email some copies of medical information to a doctor back home. We will continue to pray and sleep on it before we make a decision. There seem to be some very real obstacles. Please pray that we will continue to seek God's will and follow his leading.

Second Appointment Update

We just got back from our second appointment at the SDA. We weren't sure what to expect, but we were hopeful. We believe it turned out just as God intended. The young woman at the SDA who assisted us was very warm and friendly. We were shown files of two sibling groups. We were able to rule one out, and had almost decided to visit twins. The SDA called the orphanage for us and found out that the twins grandparents had stepped into the picture and wanted to adopt them so they weren't available any longer. We actually ended up looking again at one of the girls from last week that we had almost chosen to visit. We decided to go ahead and visit her. We've heard some really good things about her, but we also were told she may need some physical therapy or even surgery. We will leave tomorrow evening on the overnight train to visit her at the orphanage. Her orphanage is in the Eastern part of Ukraine. We were told it's about a 12 hour train ride from Kyiv. We look forward to traveling there and seeing a new part of the country plus also seeing the orphanage and this precious child. Thanks again to everyone for your prayers. We definitely felt them before and during our appointment.

Tomorrow's the Day!

Our translator confirmed today that our second SDA appointment is tomorrow, Tuesday, at 2:00pm (That's 6:00am for those of you at home.) Please pray specifically that we would be shown files of children that match what we've previously requested. We're excited to see what God will do. We'll update after our appointment.

WEEKEND IN KYIV

The weekend has arrived. The inner streets are barricaded for what appears as a large block party. People flood the streets and gather in the parks and marketplace squares for conversation and festivities. The younger generation gather around the square for a cold beer, a smoke and some past-time conversation. The older crowd meets in the parks to compete at a massive chess tournament- might I add these guys take their game seriously. They have the counters for timing how long it takes to move the piece on the board.

Evening quickly comes as we walk down the sidewalk, the skyline of the massive buildings swallow us. It reminds us of New York City minus the hurried pace. The city is beautiful and the people are proud of their rich history. The significant Ukrainian leaders of old are embronzed and located throughout the city on every corner. Each monument tells a story of the significance of the statue despite Vicki and I 's inability to interpret Cryllic.

We've added some pics as we wait on Tuesday to come. Day 6 comes to an end.

Moving Day

We moved to a different apartment today. The one we stayed in for the first few days was very close to Independence Square which is in the heart of the city. It was nice, but also more expensive than we wanted to pay for an extended stay. So our translator found an apartment a little further away from the center. It's nice and within easy walking distance of restaurants, a market, bank, etc. We ate at a French restaurant today that inspired chef Rod Danee' to cook up some dinner. We ventured to the market and bought some supplies, including pasta and bottled sauce. It was very good. The chef outdid himself! Everything here is such an adventure. We had the ladies at the market laughing as Rodney drew a picture of a chicken laying an egg. They didn't have any eggs, though, so we settled for porridge!

We appreciate your continued prayer and support. God willing we'll be home soon with a new addition to our family.

Update on Appointment Day

I know many of you are anxiosly awaiting news of our appointment at the SDA which was yesterday. Sorry, it's taken me so long to update, but our internet access was down for a while. Now we're back up and running.

I'm not really sure what to say aobut the appointment at the SDA. I think we probably experienced the same things that many other recent families have written about. We had asked for a young child, so we already knew to expect to be shown files of children with medical issues. We saw several files of young girls. Most had medical issues that we had already decided beforehand we didn't think we could handle as a family. We narrowed our selection down to two precious little girls that both had orthopedic problems and would require surgery. After speaking to our pediatrician back home whom we woke up at 4:15am home time(Thanks Dr. Byrum! We love you!), we decided not to choose a child to meet. We then asked for a second appointment and were granted another time, which is next Tuesday.

Thanks again for all your prayers and support. We'll keep you updated if anythig happens between now and then.

Appointment Day and Time

Tomorrow is our appointment with the SDA. Our appointment time is 10:00am (2am for those of you at home). This is the time we will sit down in the governmental offices of Ukraine and look at files of children that are available for adoption. We'll post an update after that meeting.

We got lots of sleep last night and feel like we've somewhat recuperated from jet lag. We ate lunch at McDonald's (we weren't feeling very adventurous)! We spent quite a bit of time walking around the city and taking in the sights. Tonight we met up with a couple from Ohio that's also here to adopt and had dinner with them. The food was really good and it was fun to visit and compare notes with others who are going through the same process as us.

We Made It!

We arrived safely today in Kiev around 2:00pm local time. Our travel day turned out to be very tiring, but I suppose they usually are! We were hoping to get some sleep on the flight from Minneapolis to Paris, but I always forget how hard it is to sleep sitting practically straight up! Plus, there was a really sweet family with a baby that didn't sleep either sitting in front of us. I felt so sorry for them, because their baby fussed or cried for most of the eight hour flight. I know they were exhausted as well from trying to keep their baby quiet/entertained. Our translator and a driver met us at the airport and took us to the apartment we will be staying in while in Kiev. The apartment is nice and is located in the heart of the city near Independence Square. It will be convenient for walking to shops, the market, and restaurants. We were pleased to find that the apartment has internet access and plenty of hot water.

I better sign off for now. Since I haven't slept in over 24 hours, I might start getting incoherent in my writing!

Travel Day

It's very hard to believe this day has arrived. We're sitting in the Minneapolis airport waiting for our flight to leave for Paris. We are scheduled to arrive in Kiev, Ukraine Sunday around 2:30 pm their time. I believe Kiev is eight hours ahead of Central Standard Time.

Once we arrive in Ukraine and find out some more details regarding what to expect for our timeline, we will post that information.

A Little History

Most of you reading this are friends and family and may know the history behind our decision to adopt. However, we thought it might be good to start out our blog with a little of the history.
We are the parents of three great kids. We feel so blessed to already have a beautiful daughter and two handsome little boys. However, for some time we have had a desire to increase our family. As we became more involved with the adoption ministry at our church and as God placed many friends in our life who were the parents of adopted children, the desire to adopt was planted in our hearts. Adoption hits very close to home already as Vicki’s sister has traveled to Africa and spent two long years in her pursuit to adopt a precious little boy from Uganda. Also, the statistics are staggering, nearly 150 million orphans worldwide. Many of them live in countries where the people are simply too poor to care for the children who have no one. Finally, God’s commands in his word are very clear that we are to love and care for orphans. In light of all these things, we felt adoption was a wonderful way to add to our family. After many months and much prayer, we decided to pursue the adoption of a little girl from somewhere in the world.
We actually began the process to adopt from a couple of different countries before the doors were shut. Then, one Sunday at church some friends told us they were adopting again from Ukraine and wanted to tell us about the process if we were interested. After meeting with them for coffee in April of 2007 and hearing all about their experience in adopting twin girls five years earlier, we decided to pray about adopting from Ukraine. Shortly thereafter we started the paperwork chase that really turned out to be not as bad as expected. In June of 2007, we mailed our dossier (the packet of official documents that tells the Ukrainian government all about you) to our assigned facilitator in Ukraine to be translated. After several months of our paperwork waiting in line, it was submitted on March 26, 2008. Not quite a month later, we got an email from our adoption facilitator in Ukraine saying that the Ukrainian government had approved our paper work and issued an invitation for us to come to their offices in Kiev on July 15 to review files of children available for adoption!

Time has really flown since then! We’ve been scurrying to prepare for our trip, along with the preparation of getting things settled with grandparents and friends who will be taking care of our children while we’re gone. God has blessed us in so many ways as he has used generous friends and family members to meet so many of our needs.

We hope to be able to keep this blog updated during our time in Ukraine so that you, our friends and family, can stay up to date and participate in our adventure. Please leave us comments! I know we will love hearing from you!